Update

So many things are running through my mind, it is hard for me to organize them. It seems like new and wonderful things happen everyday, and I'm always challenged. Here is a summary in no particular order of how things have gone so far...

1. Marie and I have been nominated to be deacons at Grace Church
2. I have a new beautiful daughter named Aviyah
3. I am both Greek and Hebrew Exegesis which has been challenging.
4. I signed up for Rick Holland's preaching class
5. My heart is still at Beacon, and after a great conversation with my pastor, it makes me long for there even more.
6. I have had opportunities to serve the Lord through music, which has been a blessing
7. Jesus Christ is becoming more precious to me as I learn to serve Him.
8. Marie and I are still learning how to be married and raise two kids, but God has been so very gracious
9. We are so thankful to be here, and marvel at God's goodness towards us.
10. I've had about six cups of coffee, and will probably crash soon.


Well, it's brief, but it's an update. May God bless you all.

well well well...

A lot has happened since I started this little faith journey. I learned Biblical Hebrew and Greek, coached a junior high girls soccer team, started playing guitar for 4 and 5 year olds, learned all sorts of things about church history, started Grant Horner's bible reading plan and have actually been keeping up with it, made the wonderful switch from PC to Mac, made a ton of new friends, got a new job as an apartment complex manager, got to preach to k-9th graders (in three separate sessions) twice, will be (God willing) the proud father of a little girl in just a little while, have separated completely from the military, is seriously reconsidering some of the "values" I have always just assumed should be important, and even debated for, as long as I can remember (mostly political), am learning to love my wife more, and lead my family, am more convinced now than I ever have been that Jesus Christ is the only hope for this world... now I just need to learn to articulate that.

now I'm off to change my son's stinky diaper. It's ok, though, in 1 week we begin 3 days of intense, gladiator potty training.

The Times They Are a-Changing...

I'm not sure how long this will last, but I want to start writing again. I've been apprehensive for a couple of reasons, not the least of which being my own immaturity. I've been very dogmatic about several things in the past, and since coming out here, I've begun to see my own immaturity. I'm learning to choose the hills I die on, because there is nothing worse than feeling it is necessary to to combat your own presupposition of what someone else's position may be. I've done that many times, blinded by my own pride, and paid dearly for it. Writing has always been difficult for me not because I don't love it, I do, but because it's hard to communicate clearly sometimes.

To give everyone a brief update, I want to start by telling everyone what I am thankful for:

First and foremost, I am thankful for Jesus Christ. Jesus is so much more than I could ever understand this side of heaven. What I do understand gives me more comfort than anything else. He is my Lord, my Savior, and my friend. Everything I cannot do to justify myself before God He has done for me, and because of that, I am so very thankful. He has given me His Spirit to comfort me, enlighten His Word to me, and guide me through life, and I depend on that to keep myself from going crazy. Each day, I learn more and more to lean on His guidance and submit to what He has said in His Word. That may be difficult for some people to understand, and as someone outside of Christianity looking in, it may even seem a little cooky. I don't blame you, especially what has been done "in the name of Jesus Christ" in the past.

I am also thankful for the Word of God. Since coming out here, I have been able to study the Bible more deeply. In that process, I have been exposed to my own hypocrisy, and received fresh insight into why Jesus Christ is so precious.

I am also very thankful for TMS and GCC. I have met so many different people from all sorts of walks of life that are learning to love God. I am being challenged to love my family, manage my time, and love God unlike I have ever been before. I'm also discovering how little I know in the grand scheme of things, and how much more I have to learn about everything.

I am thankful for life, health, provision, shelter, care, etc. Since coming out here, I have had every need met in some amazing and generous ways. People do not hesitate to give. We lived with a family for free for six months, got all of our furniture donated to us for free, had dozens of meals cooked for us, and have seen God's continuous provision the entire time we've been out here.

I am also thankful for the friends God has given me out here. I have met a lot of people that encourage me, and I'm so thankful for all of them, and look forward to many years of friendship.

For the sake of Brevity, I'll end there, and say more another day.

Reflections part 1

For the sake of brevity, I'll probably use several posts to reflect on my first semester. I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but I'm doing very well. My family is out here now, so posting sort of went down the tubes.

My first semester is done, so I'm officially 12.5% done with seminary (based on the graduation requirements) and it feels good. Surprisingly, the least difficult challenge I faced was seminary itself. I had an overwhelming amount of enthusiasm that carried me through the entire semester. There were times I didn't feel like studying, but they were brief, and they minimally impacted my grade. With that said, I care very little about my grades, so I won't talk much about them. I have noticed there are two different ways to go about studying. I could either study what I know I need to know academically, or I could carefully absorb the wealth of information available on a personal level, with the hope of it impacting my life and ministry. I've chosen the latter. When I go through the curriculum, I understand that it was carefully chosen by the professors to not just be studied for a grade, but to be seen as something important for us to understand for future ministry.

The challenge of the semester is behind me, and now I face new challenges. The winterim, for example, is taught by Bruce Ware, and I have about 1000 pages to read by January 9th. I'm looking forward to many other classes, and I'm thankful God has given me such a strong interest in all of classes offered here.

With that said, there are other challenges the Lord has brought my way I'll discuss in future posts that seem to cripple me, and remind me of my own depravity, weakness, and insufficiency on an hourly basis. I'm thankful for those, because God uses them to ensure any success I experience anywhere else will not make me prideful. The other perspective I hang on to for dear life is a desire to please my Lord and King. Other people may or may not be impressed with me for any reason, but at the end of the day, I always ask myself, was God pleased with me today? The Lord is not a hard task-master, and I'm thankful my salvation is blood-bought. The perspective I fight for vehemently is the same as my Lord who said, "I only come to do the will of My Father." I can;t tell you how many times my prayer has been the same: "more Grace, Lord, please... more Grace."

House for...anything

A quick update for everyone that reads this. Marie is coming out here the 29th of October, so I get to be a dad and a husband again. Financially we are doing ok, but the house situation is still uncertain. We have it listed to rent for less than what we pay for month, but we're definitely willing to sell it. With what we have into it, we couldn't afford to sell it for less than 199,900, which is still less than we paid for it when we bought it. This amount would enable us to be done with it, and move forward to what God has for us here in California.

God has been so wonderful through all of this, both directly through His presence and peace, and also through His people like my dad, and of course the Downers. God is amazing, and I am so thankful for everything He has done for me.

I John 3:2

"...we shall see Him as He is."


We have all done it, especially in this society, and I'm sure it's not difficult to picture the typical country pastor who cleverly says in response to compliments, "I wish my wife thought of me the same as you do, but she can't because she has to live with me!" In a society swarming with... how do I say this gently... an overemphasized appreciation for individuals, it's not too long before we realize the ideas we have in our minds about even the saintliest of God's servants paints a far too rosy picture for them. I'm sure they, like ourselves, want those things to be true about them, but it's not the reality. I'm reminded of one godly man who was urged by his supporters to respond to harsh slander and criticism. Everyone was expecting him to be appalled by what was said, and send out a well reasoned defense of his character, which was above reproach, but after reading the comments, he said to his supporters, "gentlemen, I am all of those things and more."

Now there is a man with a correct view of himself. Whether or not the things said about him were true wasn't important. He understood that the worst thing someone could say about him still fell short of who he really was apart from Christ. He wasn't interested in defending his character because why defend a man he has been trying to kill since he was introduced to Christ?

Jesus Christ has the opposite problem. Any exultation or words of praise you could offer Christ still fall short of what He deserves. Jesus Christ presents for us the perfect juxtaposition to humanity at it's best. You may think you appreciate Christ now, but just wait until you see what He is REALLY like! When you think of the depth and richness of that statement, "We shall see Him as He is." It makes you wonder why you would want to have anything to do with yourself any longer. I would challenge all of you to take a good, hard look at who you are "in the inner-most parts" and then think about who Christ is. When you understand those two things, you're ready to worship.

Jake and Marie, what were you thinking?

I contemplated writing a long explanation about why I had out here because I know a lot of people have been saying negative things to Marie about how foolish our decision was. I have made a lot of foolish decisions, and so has Marie... this was not one of them. I haven't regretted for a second this move we made, especially in light of some of the sacrifices others have made to get out here.

I was going to explain to you, in detail, how the Army works, and how the timing of any other move would have put undue stress on my family, (and trust me, Marie would concur that the stress she is under now is not as bad as it would have been if we would have chosen that route)

In case you're curious, here is a brief explanation:

The only reason I would have stayed in my job is to alleviate stress on my family, so that move would have been counter-productive. The deception I was expected to engage in or approve of is too complicated to try and explain, but suffice it to say I got out of that business at the right time for more than just that reason. Aside from the moral dilemma, The plan that was developed in June and July by my team was set to begin October 1st. In this plan, the brunt of the work for the year was set to take place in the first quarter, (Oct-Dec) During that quarter, we were expected to work 60-80 hours a week, and treat it as a deployment away from our families. If I would have stayed, I would have no choice but to work those hours thru December, and if I wasn't successful, it would have continued. Some teams are forced to sleep in their offices if they don't meet their quotas.

That was set to begin October 1st, and my last official day of Active Duty was September 30th.
I carefully analyzed my work environment before making this decision, and prayerfully considered my options. I discussed it with Marie, and she was adamantly opposed to staying in recruiting, and so was I. I knew I could tough it out if I needed to, but I didn't want to drag my family through that again. I enjoyed my time as a recruiter, but it was very hard on Marie, and if you ask her which situation she would prefer, she wouldn't hesitate to tell you this one. I'm also sure if you asked Marie, she would tell you one of things that made it so difficult was the fact that she was sacrificing her husband for the army, which may be a noble cause for some, but nobody asked her to do that, and I shouldn't expect her to.

Of course, this begs the ultimate question... Then what will you do? I had no skills I could use that would give me a comparable income, I had no degree, and a persistent calling to the ministry. What would we do for money? Should I try to finish school first? I could have used the GI Bill for 18 months, and squeaked by with a 4 yr degree, and then headed out to seminary, but this would have left me very little to use for seminary. Part of the reason we choose to come out here right away is because it was the best use of the resources we had available. We wanted to use as much of the government money as we could to get through the most important part of my training to be a pastor, and then, if God is willing, finish up my degree after seminary if I am so inclined. This has been a difficult but rewarding process. Over the last three months, I've seen God's gracious provision in countless ways, and I am so very thankful.

So in a nutshell, I hope that helps any naysayers at least understand our thought process. Much more could be said, but please understand this... This was not a decision that was made lightly, and I made the best decision for my family. In spite of the recent difficulties of getting the house rented, both Marie and I are absolutely thrilled to move on to the next chapter of our lives. God has proven Himself to be faithful, and I even though I miss Marie and Jude, and wish things would have gone more according to plan, we are still thankful for this opportunity, and wouldn't change a thing... except for maybe hiring someone else to do our bathroom. :)

I have to say thank you, to God, first and foremost, but also to the people He used to help us through this process, regardless of how they felt about it.

THANK YOU... Mom and Dad, Jay, Steve and Mary, Joe, Ian, Larry, MICHELLE!, Laura, Seth, SCOTT, Jeff and Jill, Mike and Rebecka, Uncle Jeff!!!, Dave, Kevin and Kelsey, Jesse H, and so many many others I'm sure I didn't think of. I'm sure after i post this I'll say OH YEAH! I forget them!