A quick update for everyone that reads this. Marie is coming out here the 29th of October, so I get to be a dad and a husband again. Financially we are doing ok, but the house situation is still uncertain. We have it listed to rent for less than what we pay for month, but we're definitely willing to sell it. With what we have into it, we couldn't afford to sell it for less than 199,900, which is still less than we paid for it when we bought it. This amount would enable us to be done with it, and move forward to what God has for us here in California.
God has been so wonderful through all of this, both directly through His presence and peace, and also through His people like my dad, and of course the Downers. God is amazing, and I am so thankful for everything He has done for me.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I John 3:2
"...we shall see Him as He is."
We have all done it, especially in this society, and I'm sure it's not difficult to picture the typical country pastor who cleverly says in response to compliments, "I wish my wife thought of me the same as you do, but she can't because she has to live with me!" In a society swarming with... how do I say this gently... an overemphasized appreciation for individuals, it's not too long before we realize the ideas we have in our minds about even the saintliest of God's servants paints a far too rosy picture for them. I'm sure they, like ourselves, want those things to be true about them, but it's not the reality. I'm reminded of one godly man who was urged by his supporters to respond to harsh slander and criticism. Everyone was expecting him to be appalled by what was said, and send out a well reasoned defense of his character, which was above reproach, but after reading the comments, he said to his supporters, "gentlemen, I am all of those things and more."
Now there is a man with a correct view of himself. Whether or not the things said about him were true wasn't important. He understood that the worst thing someone could say about him still fell short of who he really was apart from Christ. He wasn't interested in defending his character because why defend a man he has been trying to kill since he was introduced to Christ?
Jesus Christ has the opposite problem. Any exultation or words of praise you could offer Christ still fall short of what He deserves. Jesus Christ presents for us the perfect juxtaposition to humanity at it's best. You may think you appreciate Christ now, but just wait until you see what He is REALLY like! When you think of the depth and richness of that statement, "We shall see Him as He is." It makes you wonder why you would want to have anything to do with yourself any longer. I would challenge all of you to take a good, hard look at who you are "in the inner-most parts" and then think about who Christ is. When you understand those two things, you're ready to worship.
We have all done it, especially in this society, and I'm sure it's not difficult to picture the typical country pastor who cleverly says in response to compliments, "I wish my wife thought of me the same as you do, but she can't because she has to live with me!" In a society swarming with... how do I say this gently... an overemphasized appreciation for individuals, it's not too long before we realize the ideas we have in our minds about even the saintliest of God's servants paints a far too rosy picture for them. I'm sure they, like ourselves, want those things to be true about them, but it's not the reality. I'm reminded of one godly man who was urged by his supporters to respond to harsh slander and criticism. Everyone was expecting him to be appalled by what was said, and send out a well reasoned defense of his character, which was above reproach, but after reading the comments, he said to his supporters, "gentlemen, I am all of those things and more."
Now there is a man with a correct view of himself. Whether or not the things said about him were true wasn't important. He understood that the worst thing someone could say about him still fell short of who he really was apart from Christ. He wasn't interested in defending his character because why defend a man he has been trying to kill since he was introduced to Christ?
Jesus Christ has the opposite problem. Any exultation or words of praise you could offer Christ still fall short of what He deserves. Jesus Christ presents for us the perfect juxtaposition to humanity at it's best. You may think you appreciate Christ now, but just wait until you see what He is REALLY like! When you think of the depth and richness of that statement, "We shall see Him as He is." It makes you wonder why you would want to have anything to do with yourself any longer. I would challenge all of you to take a good, hard look at who you are "in the inner-most parts" and then think about who Christ is. When you understand those two things, you're ready to worship.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Jake and Marie, what were you thinking?
I contemplated writing a long explanation about why I had out here because I know a lot of people have been saying negative things to Marie about how foolish our decision was. I have made a lot of foolish decisions, and so has Marie... this was not one of them. I haven't regretted for a second this move we made, especially in light of some of the sacrifices others have made to get out here.
I was going to explain to you, in detail, how the Army works, and how the timing of any other move would have put undue stress on my family, (and trust me, Marie would concur that the stress she is under now is not as bad as it would have been if we would have chosen that route)
In case you're curious, here is a brief explanation:
The only reason I would have stayed in my job is to alleviate stress on my family, so that move would have been counter-productive. The deception I was expected to engage in or approve of is too complicated to try and explain, but suffice it to say I got out of that business at the right time for more than just that reason. Aside from the moral dilemma, The plan that was developed in June and July by my team was set to begin October 1st. In this plan, the brunt of the work for the year was set to take place in the first quarter, (Oct-Dec) During that quarter, we were expected to work 60-80 hours a week, and treat it as a deployment away from our families. If I would have stayed, I would have no choice but to work those hours thru December, and if I wasn't successful, it would have continued. Some teams are forced to sleep in their offices if they don't meet their quotas.
That was set to begin October 1st, and my last official day of Active Duty was September 30th.
I carefully analyzed my work environment before making this decision, and prayerfully considered my options. I discussed it with Marie, and she was adamantly opposed to staying in recruiting, and so was I. I knew I could tough it out if I needed to, but I didn't want to drag my family through that again. I enjoyed my time as a recruiter, but it was very hard on Marie, and if you ask her which situation she would prefer, she wouldn't hesitate to tell you this one. I'm also sure if you asked Marie, she would tell you one of things that made it so difficult was the fact that she was sacrificing her husband for the army, which may be a noble cause for some, but nobody asked her to do that, and I shouldn't expect her to.
Of course, this begs the ultimate question... Then what will you do? I had no skills I could use that would give me a comparable income, I had no degree, and a persistent calling to the ministry. What would we do for money? Should I try to finish school first? I could have used the GI Bill for 18 months, and squeaked by with a 4 yr degree, and then headed out to seminary, but this would have left me very little to use for seminary. Part of the reason we choose to come out here right away is because it was the best use of the resources we had available. We wanted to use as much of the government money as we could to get through the most important part of my training to be a pastor, and then, if God is willing, finish up my degree after seminary if I am so inclined. This has been a difficult but rewarding process. Over the last three months, I've seen God's gracious provision in countless ways, and I am so very thankful.
So in a nutshell, I hope that helps any naysayers at least understand our thought process. Much more could be said, but please understand this... This was not a decision that was made lightly, and I made the best decision for my family. In spite of the recent difficulties of getting the house rented, both Marie and I are absolutely thrilled to move on to the next chapter of our lives. God has proven Himself to be faithful, and I even though I miss Marie and Jude, and wish things would have gone more according to plan, we are still thankful for this opportunity, and wouldn't change a thing... except for maybe hiring someone else to do our bathroom. :)
I have to say thank you, to God, first and foremost, but also to the people He used to help us through this process, regardless of how they felt about it.
THANK YOU... Mom and Dad, Jay, Steve and Mary, Joe, Ian, Larry, MICHELLE!, Laura, Seth, SCOTT, Jeff and Jill, Mike and Rebecka, Uncle Jeff!!!, Dave, Kevin and Kelsey, Jesse H, and so many many others I'm sure I didn't think of. I'm sure after i post this I'll say OH YEAH! I forget them!
I was going to explain to you, in detail, how the Army works, and how the timing of any other move would have put undue stress on my family, (and trust me, Marie would concur that the stress she is under now is not as bad as it would have been if we would have chosen that route)
In case you're curious, here is a brief explanation:
The only reason I would have stayed in my job is to alleviate stress on my family, so that move would have been counter-productive. The deception I was expected to engage in or approve of is too complicated to try and explain, but suffice it to say I got out of that business at the right time for more than just that reason. Aside from the moral dilemma, The plan that was developed in June and July by my team was set to begin October 1st. In this plan, the brunt of the work for the year was set to take place in the first quarter, (Oct-Dec) During that quarter, we were expected to work 60-80 hours a week, and treat it as a deployment away from our families. If I would have stayed, I would have no choice but to work those hours thru December, and if I wasn't successful, it would have continued. Some teams are forced to sleep in their offices if they don't meet their quotas.
That was set to begin October 1st, and my last official day of Active Duty was September 30th.
I carefully analyzed my work environment before making this decision, and prayerfully considered my options. I discussed it with Marie, and she was adamantly opposed to staying in recruiting, and so was I. I knew I could tough it out if I needed to, but I didn't want to drag my family through that again. I enjoyed my time as a recruiter, but it was very hard on Marie, and if you ask her which situation she would prefer, she wouldn't hesitate to tell you this one. I'm also sure if you asked Marie, she would tell you one of things that made it so difficult was the fact that she was sacrificing her husband for the army, which may be a noble cause for some, but nobody asked her to do that, and I shouldn't expect her to.
Of course, this begs the ultimate question... Then what will you do? I had no skills I could use that would give me a comparable income, I had no degree, and a persistent calling to the ministry. What would we do for money? Should I try to finish school first? I could have used the GI Bill for 18 months, and squeaked by with a 4 yr degree, and then headed out to seminary, but this would have left me very little to use for seminary. Part of the reason we choose to come out here right away is because it was the best use of the resources we had available. We wanted to use as much of the government money as we could to get through the most important part of my training to be a pastor, and then, if God is willing, finish up my degree after seminary if I am so inclined. This has been a difficult but rewarding process. Over the last three months, I've seen God's gracious provision in countless ways, and I am so very thankful.
So in a nutshell, I hope that helps any naysayers at least understand our thought process. Much more could be said, but please understand this... This was not a decision that was made lightly, and I made the best decision for my family. In spite of the recent difficulties of getting the house rented, both Marie and I are absolutely thrilled to move on to the next chapter of our lives. God has proven Himself to be faithful, and I even though I miss Marie and Jude, and wish things would have gone more according to plan, we are still thankful for this opportunity, and wouldn't change a thing... except for maybe hiring someone else to do our bathroom. :)
I have to say thank you, to God, first and foremost, but also to the people He used to help us through this process, regardless of how they felt about it.
THANK YOU... Mom and Dad, Jay, Steve and Mary, Joe, Ian, Larry, MICHELLE!, Laura, Seth, SCOTT, Jeff and Jill, Mike and Rebecka, Uncle Jeff!!!, Dave, Kevin and Kelsey, Jesse H, and so many many others I'm sure I didn't think of. I'm sure after i post this I'll say OH YEAH! I forget them!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
So I've been thinking...
I'm very thankful for mass media. It has it's advantages and disadvantages, but in the context I'm thinking of, I'm thankful for it. I have grown tremendously as a Christian thanks to the preaching available on the radio, and on websites like desiringgod.org and gty.org. I used to drive to and from work and hear R.C. Sproul, John Piper, John Macarthur, and Allistair Begg everyday. It was men like Steve Lawson that inspired me to preach, and reading sermons by Charles Spurgeon, J.C. Ryle, D. Martin Lloyd Jones, and John Owen helped bring my mind even closer to God, and gave me a true appreciation for His Word.
I am in seminary to learn how to preach and teach God's Word. TMS is known for training expositors, and by God's grace, that's what I'll be, but it's not what I want to be known for. The simple fact is this: If people want to hear great preaching, they have a plethora of resources available to them, from the comfort of thier own homes, at anytime they wish. I haven't checked the facts, but I am convinced you could listen to four hours of solid, excellent preaching a day, and still not exhaust the wealth of exposition that exists in digital media after several years, or even several decades. If you want to hear John Piper's series on justification at 3AM, your a mouse click away. Along with that, we have more resources in printed form that has been developed over the last 2000 years of church history. These books have been written by brilliant men on just about every subject conceivable, and while I would never suggest that we have been given enough time to plumb the depths of Scripture itself, nor do I want to discourage people from continuing that tradition, I will say this...
Before anything else, we need to be shepherds. We shepherd our family first, and then our flocks. We prepare people for the work of the ministry. It reminds me of when Satan took Jesus to a high mountain, and said, "All these things I will give you, if you fall down and worship me" If anyone deserved the world, it was Jesus, but the cost was too great. Jesus choose a life of humility. He chose to be a shepherd, a good shepherd, "who lays down His life for His sheep." It seems silly when in our weakness we desire the praise of other people. It's as if we forget that we have God Himself who walks with us. God equips us, enlightens us, enables us, and empowers us to do all things for His glory. And He does it so we can pass on His legacy, not ours.
I am in seminary to learn how to preach and teach God's Word. TMS is known for training expositors, and by God's grace, that's what I'll be, but it's not what I want to be known for. The simple fact is this: If people want to hear great preaching, they have a plethora of resources available to them, from the comfort of thier own homes, at anytime they wish. I haven't checked the facts, but I am convinced you could listen to four hours of solid, excellent preaching a day, and still not exhaust the wealth of exposition that exists in digital media after several years, or even several decades. If you want to hear John Piper's series on justification at 3AM, your a mouse click away. Along with that, we have more resources in printed form that has been developed over the last 2000 years of church history. These books have been written by brilliant men on just about every subject conceivable, and while I would never suggest that we have been given enough time to plumb the depths of Scripture itself, nor do I want to discourage people from continuing that tradition, I will say this...
Before anything else, we need to be shepherds. We shepherd our family first, and then our flocks. We prepare people for the work of the ministry. It reminds me of when Satan took Jesus to a high mountain, and said, "All these things I will give you, if you fall down and worship me" If anyone deserved the world, it was Jesus, but the cost was too great. Jesus choose a life of humility. He chose to be a shepherd, a good shepherd, "who lays down His life for His sheep." It seems silly when in our weakness we desire the praise of other people. It's as if we forget that we have God Himself who walks with us. God equips us, enlightens us, enables us, and empowers us to do all things for His glory. And He does it so we can pass on His legacy, not ours.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
How will I know?
Picture the scene...
You're a Jewish priest, and you go to the temple to perform your normal priestly duties. You've been at it a while, so you're an old man. You're wife hasn't been able to have children, but you've made your peace with it, and you've walked blamelessly before God. You walk into the temple, just like any other day, and are chosen to burn the incense. You walk towards the table, and everything changes. Right there in front of you, just to the right of the incense table, is an angel. A real, eternal, heavenly creature. This isn't just a vision, you are looking at one of God's holy angels. The sheer majesty of this is enough to paralyze you with fear. The presence of this angel is so overwhelming, you can't even move. The angel tells you not to be afraid, but you say nothing. You just sit there, overwhelmed by it's majesty. The angel has some wonderful news for you. He tells you that your prayers have been heard, and that God will not only give you a son, but a son who will be great in the sight of the Lord, and cause many to turn back to God. The angel then tells you what any priest would give there favorite yamaka and shave their sideburns to hear, that your son will be the forerunner to the Messiah in the spirit and power of Elijah. He will make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
So what is your response? Thanksgiving? Praise? Do you run out of the temple filled with joy? Do you go home and tell your wife the good news? No. You doubt. You have an angel, a majestic being from heaven appear out of thin air to tell you something very specific, and the first thing you can muster out of your trembling lips is, "How will I know this for certain?" What else do you need? A bigger angel? More angels? Maybe Gabriel should of brought you a flow chart. You doubt something God has clearly shown you. You think, "impossible, I'm an old man!" so human reason takes over, and you limit God. Gabriel's answer wasn't intended to assure you, but to rebuke you. He says to you "I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and bring you this good news. (perhaps you can pick up on a little frustration on Gabriel's part?) And behold, you shall be silent and unable to speak until the day when these things take place, because you did not believe my words, (and Gabriel throws this little jab in there, just to make sure you understands God's plan isn't contingent on you) which will be fulfilled in their proper time." Now you can't talk. Now do you believe him?
end scene...
How many times does Jesus say in Scripture, "you would not beleive me." It's sad, we have the testimony of the Law and the prophets, we have an angel appear to a righteous man, and then we have God Himself appear, who performs miracles and healings, and we still doubt. Of course, it's easy to say, "Well, if I had been Zacharias, I wouldn't of doubted." And to you I say, really? Are you sure you wouldn't of doubted? Let me guess, if Jesus had appeared to you, you would have been the first in line to affirm His deity, and would have made Peter look timid. It's easy to think that if we had been Adam, we wouldn't have eaten that apple. We would look at Eve and say 'What are you doing! Are you crazy!!!" It's so easy to read the narratives and assume we wouldn't have doubted like Thomas, deceived ourselves like Peter, or even betrayed Christ like Judas. The good news is we can know right now what our attitudes would have been like in sense, because we have something today that is just as powerful, and in many ways more powerful than anything they had before. I would argue that what we have is a more powerful testimony than what Zacharias had, and is only trumped by the walking and talking Word of God Himself.
So what do you do with the Bible? What is your attitude towards it? Do you believe it even when it's difficult to understand? Or do you allegorize it to make it more pallatable. Are you committed to it? To you study it, and try to understand it? Do you believe what it says about sin, redemption, and Jesus Christ? I hope so, because thankfully for Zacharias, he only had to answer to Gabriel, but if we doubt God's Word, we have to answer to God. What we do with the revealed testimony of God will determine how we live our lives, and it is what we will be held accountable for when we are judged by Him after we leave these physical bodies. Don't be flippant about God's testimony. It is tried, and it is true.
The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
You're a Jewish priest, and you go to the temple to perform your normal priestly duties. You've been at it a while, so you're an old man. You're wife hasn't been able to have children, but you've made your peace with it, and you've walked blamelessly before God. You walk into the temple, just like any other day, and are chosen to burn the incense. You walk towards the table, and everything changes. Right there in front of you, just to the right of the incense table, is an angel. A real, eternal, heavenly creature. This isn't just a vision, you are looking at one of God's holy angels. The sheer majesty of this is enough to paralyze you with fear. The presence of this angel is so overwhelming, you can't even move. The angel tells you not to be afraid, but you say nothing. You just sit there, overwhelmed by it's majesty. The angel has some wonderful news for you. He tells you that your prayers have been heard, and that God will not only give you a son, but a son who will be great in the sight of the Lord, and cause many to turn back to God. The angel then tells you what any priest would give there favorite yamaka and shave their sideburns to hear, that your son will be the forerunner to the Messiah in the spirit and power of Elijah. He will make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
So what is your response? Thanksgiving? Praise? Do you run out of the temple filled with joy? Do you go home and tell your wife the good news? No. You doubt. You have an angel, a majestic being from heaven appear out of thin air to tell you something very specific, and the first thing you can muster out of your trembling lips is, "How will I know this for certain?" What else do you need? A bigger angel? More angels? Maybe Gabriel should of brought you a flow chart. You doubt something God has clearly shown you. You think, "impossible, I'm an old man!" so human reason takes over, and you limit God. Gabriel's answer wasn't intended to assure you, but to rebuke you. He says to you "I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and bring you this good news. (perhaps you can pick up on a little frustration on Gabriel's part?) And behold, you shall be silent and unable to speak until the day when these things take place, because you did not believe my words, (and Gabriel throws this little jab in there, just to make sure you understands God's plan isn't contingent on you) which will be fulfilled in their proper time." Now you can't talk. Now do you believe him?
end scene...
How many times does Jesus say in Scripture, "you would not beleive me." It's sad, we have the testimony of the Law and the prophets, we have an angel appear to a righteous man, and then we have God Himself appear, who performs miracles and healings, and we still doubt. Of course, it's easy to say, "Well, if I had been Zacharias, I wouldn't of doubted." And to you I say, really? Are you sure you wouldn't of doubted? Let me guess, if Jesus had appeared to you, you would have been the first in line to affirm His deity, and would have made Peter look timid. It's easy to think that if we had been Adam, we wouldn't have eaten that apple. We would look at Eve and say 'What are you doing! Are you crazy!!!" It's so easy to read the narratives and assume we wouldn't have doubted like Thomas, deceived ourselves like Peter, or even betrayed Christ like Judas. The good news is we can know right now what our attitudes would have been like in sense, because we have something today that is just as powerful, and in many ways more powerful than anything they had before. I would argue that what we have is a more powerful testimony than what Zacharias had, and is only trumped by the walking and talking Word of God Himself.
So what do you do with the Bible? What is your attitude towards it? Do you believe it even when it's difficult to understand? Or do you allegorize it to make it more pallatable. Are you committed to it? To you study it, and try to understand it? Do you believe what it says about sin, redemption, and Jesus Christ? I hope so, because thankfully for Zacharias, he only had to answer to Gabriel, but if we doubt God's Word, we have to answer to God. What we do with the revealed testimony of God will determine how we live our lives, and it is what we will be held accountable for when we are judged by Him after we leave these physical bodies. Don't be flippant about God's testimony. It is tried, and it is true.
The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Bliss...
...the diligence of a man is his most precious possession. -Prov 12:27
So far, so good. I begin my fourth week tomorrow. I'm starting to miss my family, but being alone has it's benefits. I don't typically do very well when I'm alone, and I know if I were completely alone, I would be going crazy, but I'm not. I'm with the Downers. One of the nicest most wonderful families on earth. They have welcomed me as a part of their family, and I never feel alone with them here because I can just walk outside the door of my room, and someone is there.
While I'm feeling sentimental, let me tell you about my church. I belong to the most wonderful church I can imagine. That church is Beacon of Hope in St Paul. I don't want to sound extra-biblical hear, but if you live anywhere near St Paul, and you don't attend this church, I'm close to considering that a sin. The church is pastored by a dear friend and mentor Steve Lonetti. I could say a lot of things about how God has used Steve and Mary in the lives of Marie and I, but I want to focus more on Beacon. Let me just say this about Steve and Mary, they have been faithful.
I'm learning a little something out here about the amazing, permeating effects of God's Word being understood clearly, and diligently applied. The power is not in a preacher, or body, or church. The power is in God's infallible, inerrant, and Living Word. The early church fathers knew this, and so does Steve and the leadership. Why don't always know what God will do, or what He plans to do, but I believe something very powerful is going to happen in St Paul through Beacon of Hope, and when it does, I can promise you no one will take any credit for it, but will use it as a testimony of the power of God's Word proclaimed in a dark place.
I know this sounds strange, and this blog is getting longer than I would like it to be, but Beacon is my home, and it should be your home. If you're a Christian, you weren't meant to sit around, soak in good teaching, go home, feed the dog, and watch TV. You're meant to do something. Don't forget to read the next verse after Ephesians 2:8,9. The local church doesn't exist to serve you, but to serve Christ. The leadership of a church exists to equip the saints for the work of the ministry (Eph 4:12) That is what Beacon is about. Equipping you to minster, getting you in the fight, and holding you accountable. If you're not interested in living the life Christ has indeed redeemed you for, than stay home. You can always rest on God's unchangeing Grace, which requires nothing of you, but instead freely lavishes on you the benefits of fellowship with the Father. But I suspect that is not you. If you are restless in your spirit, but ignorant of why, go to Beacon. Let them help you find the life God has intended you to live.
With all that said, I know I belong there, but the Lord has me here. Some believe I came out here too early, and in a separate post, I may explain why this was the best decision for me and my family, but let me point out one thing. The Christian life is a high calling, and while I have always brimmed with enthusiasm, my follow through left much to be desired. Sometimes my will couldn't keep up with what my heart wanted to do. God needed to separate me for a season to temper me in some areas, and I already see that happening. Even my absence from Marie is providential, and God has allowed me to see why this time is important. At TMS, I'm not just learning the "what" but the "how and why," which is essential in ministry. I'm also gaining a deeper love and appreciation for my shepherds and my church. Please continue to pray for me, and for Beacon of Hope, and remember to thank God for everything.
So far, so good. I begin my fourth week tomorrow. I'm starting to miss my family, but being alone has it's benefits. I don't typically do very well when I'm alone, and I know if I were completely alone, I would be going crazy, but I'm not. I'm with the Downers. One of the nicest most wonderful families on earth. They have welcomed me as a part of their family, and I never feel alone with them here because I can just walk outside the door of my room, and someone is there.
While I'm feeling sentimental, let me tell you about my church. I belong to the most wonderful church I can imagine. That church is Beacon of Hope in St Paul. I don't want to sound extra-biblical hear, but if you live anywhere near St Paul, and you don't attend this church, I'm close to considering that a sin. The church is pastored by a dear friend and mentor Steve Lonetti. I could say a lot of things about how God has used Steve and Mary in the lives of Marie and I, but I want to focus more on Beacon. Let me just say this about Steve and Mary, they have been faithful.
I'm learning a little something out here about the amazing, permeating effects of God's Word being understood clearly, and diligently applied. The power is not in a preacher, or body, or church. The power is in God's infallible, inerrant, and Living Word. The early church fathers knew this, and so does Steve and the leadership. Why don't always know what God will do, or what He plans to do, but I believe something very powerful is going to happen in St Paul through Beacon of Hope, and when it does, I can promise you no one will take any credit for it, but will use it as a testimony of the power of God's Word proclaimed in a dark place.
I know this sounds strange, and this blog is getting longer than I would like it to be, but Beacon is my home, and it should be your home. If you're a Christian, you weren't meant to sit around, soak in good teaching, go home, feed the dog, and watch TV. You're meant to do something. Don't forget to read the next verse after Ephesians 2:8,9. The local church doesn't exist to serve you, but to serve Christ. The leadership of a church exists to equip the saints for the work of the ministry (Eph 4:12) That is what Beacon is about. Equipping you to minster, getting you in the fight, and holding you accountable. If you're not interested in living the life Christ has indeed redeemed you for, than stay home. You can always rest on God's unchangeing Grace, which requires nothing of you, but instead freely lavishes on you the benefits of fellowship with the Father. But I suspect that is not you. If you are restless in your spirit, but ignorant of why, go to Beacon. Let them help you find the life God has intended you to live.
With all that said, I know I belong there, but the Lord has me here. Some believe I came out here too early, and in a separate post, I may explain why this was the best decision for me and my family, but let me point out one thing. The Christian life is a high calling, and while I have always brimmed with enthusiasm, my follow through left much to be desired. Sometimes my will couldn't keep up with what my heart wanted to do. God needed to separate me for a season to temper me in some areas, and I already see that happening. Even my absence from Marie is providential, and God has allowed me to see why this time is important. At TMS, I'm not just learning the "what" but the "how and why," which is essential in ministry. I'm also gaining a deeper love and appreciation for my shepherds and my church. Please continue to pray for me, and for Beacon of Hope, and remember to thank God for everything.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
What is a Pastor?
Seminary is still wonderful. If I updated my blog more often, it would pretty much say all the time "seminary is great." There are some wonderful things I'm learning that I'd like to share with you. To summarize my elaborate post I won't publish because I don't want to be misunderstood, I have learned that training shepherds is primarily, if not completely, the Lord's work. That has been made clear to me on so many levels, and I'm grateful that I have learned my effectiveness in ministry will lean on how much I depend on the Spirit of God to work through me.
There has been a bit of a shift in my heart, and it's centered around the title question, "What is a pastor" Part of my reading assignment is to read a book called "The Minister as Shepherd" and it really challenged my thinking, and sobered my mind to the seriousness of this calling. It's so easy to get caught up in the romance of preaching, and a lot of guys like me can't wait to get out there and "preach the Word!" I am like that. But the question is, "To what end?" Without babbling on about the book, my processes of thinking, or analyzing contemporary thought, let me just say this:
I never had much interest in legacy. I really, more than anything else, just want to be faithful where ever God leads me. There are great men, who love God that are destined for greatness... my pride almost prevents me from typing this, but I don't think I'm one of them. If you were to ask me a week ago what kind of legacy I would prefer to leave if the Lord called me to be one of those men, I would naturally answer "A faithful preacher of the Word of God who was vigilant in defending the Truth." There is nothing wrong with that, and the Lord knows we need them, but if I'm going to be remembered for anything, I want to be remembered as a pastor who was committed deeply to the people God gave him, knew them well, and loved them unconditionally.
If I have a preaching ministry that blesses thousands, but I become so busy with it's upkeep that I lose time to meet with individual church families, counsel my members, and other shepherding duties, I will have failed as a pastor. I'm learning a little bit more about what it takes to be a pastor, and it is a long, unappreciated road of self-sacrifice. For those of you that know me well, self-sacrifice is not my strong suit. I am much more comfortable with counseling individuals from a comfortable distance of little to no involvement. Just a little advice now and then. If God has indeed called me to this, what a magnificent display of God's grace! If He can turn me of all people, into an individual who will sacrifice his own comforts and preferences for others, and who will patiently and individually lead these people to a richer understanding of God, and all without any congratulations and accolades! Impossible!
Jesus was a shepherd, Paul was a shepherd, and if I'm going to be a pastor, I have to love these people more than I love myself, even if they don't love me back. As one pastor put it, sheep bite... yikes.
There has been a bit of a shift in my heart, and it's centered around the title question, "What is a pastor" Part of my reading assignment is to read a book called "The Minister as Shepherd" and it really challenged my thinking, and sobered my mind to the seriousness of this calling. It's so easy to get caught up in the romance of preaching, and a lot of guys like me can't wait to get out there and "preach the Word!" I am like that. But the question is, "To what end?" Without babbling on about the book, my processes of thinking, or analyzing contemporary thought, let me just say this:
I never had much interest in legacy. I really, more than anything else, just want to be faithful where ever God leads me. There are great men, who love God that are destined for greatness... my pride almost prevents me from typing this, but I don't think I'm one of them. If you were to ask me a week ago what kind of legacy I would prefer to leave if the Lord called me to be one of those men, I would naturally answer "A faithful preacher of the Word of God who was vigilant in defending the Truth." There is nothing wrong with that, and the Lord knows we need them, but if I'm going to be remembered for anything, I want to be remembered as a pastor who was committed deeply to the people God gave him, knew them well, and loved them unconditionally.
If I have a preaching ministry that blesses thousands, but I become so busy with it's upkeep that I lose time to meet with individual church families, counsel my members, and other shepherding duties, I will have failed as a pastor. I'm learning a little bit more about what it takes to be a pastor, and it is a long, unappreciated road of self-sacrifice. For those of you that know me well, self-sacrifice is not my strong suit. I am much more comfortable with counseling individuals from a comfortable distance of little to no involvement. Just a little advice now and then. If God has indeed called me to this, what a magnificent display of God's grace! If He can turn me of all people, into an individual who will sacrifice his own comforts and preferences for others, and who will patiently and individually lead these people to a richer understanding of God, and all without any congratulations and accolades! Impossible!
Jesus was a shepherd, Paul was a shepherd, and if I'm going to be a pastor, I have to love these people more than I love myself, even if they don't love me back. As one pastor put it, sheep bite... yikes.
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