"I gravely question whether some of us will find our vessels, when far out to sea, to be quite so seaworthy as we think them." -Spurgeon
As part of my reading requirement for my ministries course, I am required to read 6 books over the course of the semester, none of which I will be tested on. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to practice reading quickly, and gave myself 90 minutes to read 50 or so pages. This was a mistake, because this particular section of reading is from "Lectures To My Students" by Charles Spurgeon. The better part of wisdom (no, not my wife) told me to read this intently instead of treating it as an academic exercise, and as a result I have been richly blessed. I've paused several times to consider his admonishments and exhortations, and have tried to read slowly because I don't want to miss any of it.
The quote above is what has caused me to write this because I have often thought about how I will react when true trials come. What I can tell you is I'm not worried about it. In fact, I am as sure that I will be sustained through trials as I am of my salvation simply because the same God that has saved me will sustain me. (Philippians 1:6) The other thing I am assured of is that there will be trials, because the same Word that promises my salvation promises those as well.
Right now, I feel like I'm in some sort of incubator. I have a wonderful family, a wonderful wife that takes care of me, I am part of a church that has been such a blessing to me, and it's pastored by a dear friend who isn't shy about reproving me, but is also very patient with me. Here at TMS I am surrounded by men who pray for me dilligently, and, well, don't even get me started on the Downers, who have not only opened there home to me, but have consistently served me and fed me since I got here more than two weeks ago.
Still, all of these things stand in the shadow of God's sovereign work in my own heart, and in His provision through His people. I have enjoyed such wonderul fellowship with Him, and His Word has been such a joy and comfort to me. I was expecting this to be more difficult, but God has graciously allowed me to be productive, clean, and organized, which, if you know me, is a miracle in and of itself.
All this to say, I don't know when harder trials will come, and I'll also say there are difficult things I am dealing with now in spite of this. Things like the uncertainty of finances and where we will live, having Marie back home finishing up the house with my parents, and not being there to help. Trying to figure out how I will pay for a large mortgage while I'm out here, trying to anticipate logistical things I am neglecting or haven't thought about, (these are things you can be praying for) but in the midst of these things, I am confident that God will provide in every respect, and for that I am eternally grateful. Most of those things are physical, and I wouldn't trade any of them for the sweet fellowship with God I have been enjoying. I wouldn't trade that for any circumstance.
Whom have I heaven but You? And besides you, I desire nothing on earth
Oh Lord, please let this last...
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